Funny Friday/62

A cowboy, who just moved to Texas from Wyoming, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The cowboy replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Wyoming, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.”

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. Continua a leggere

Funny Friday/61

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die,” she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?”

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a cowboy from  Texas stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt…one button at a time. No one moves.

He removes his shirt…

Muscles ripple across his chest.

She gasps. Continua a leggere

Funny Friday/58

Since I’m blond, I feel entitled to tell a blond joke…once in awhile J

A blond and her husband are laying in bed watching TV, an old western is on. The husband says to his wife, “I bet you breakfast in bed that the covered wagon hits a rock and the driver falls out dead.”

“You’re on,” returned his wife.

They watch the western and sure enough the wagon hits a rock in the dirt road and the driver falls out of the wagon…dead. The wife gets out of bed and returns shortly with a tray of food.  After eating, the husband says: “I have to admit that I saw this movie before.” Continua a leggere