Autore: malanguzzi

Funny Friday/24 – For the Love of Cooking

/ malanguzzi / 2 commenti

for_the_love_of_cooking

Trad_imento:

Lei è in cucina, in piedi.

Mi volta le spalle.

Addosso, ha solo la mia maglietta, quella in cui le piace dormire.

Sta preparando la nostra colazione: uova sode.

Mi ha sentito entrare, ne sono certo,

l’ho capito dal movimento dolce delle spalle anche se non sono del tutto sveglio.

Si gira e mi guarda con quei suoi occhi unici e dice dolcemente:

“Fai l’amore con me, proprio adesso: ma subito, però!”

Sto sognando oppure oggi dev’essere il mio giorno fortunato,

penso.

Non ho esitato.

L’ho presa tra le mie braccia e le ho dato tutto me stesso, proprio lì, in cucina, sul tavolo traballante.

“Grazie” mi dice lei, dopo, gli occhi luminosi, tornando ai fornelli.

Felice e tuttavia perplesso, non riesco a non chiederle:

“A cosa devo…?”

“Il timer si è rotto”.

 

Funny Friday/23 – Bubba trova lavoro

/ malanguzzi / 2 commenti

My Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole realee seam to reespond too me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not too good but find that I Offen can get a job wit my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we kin discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I kin start emeditely.  Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

Bubba

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short – below is a pickture of me.

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Funny Friday/21

/ malanguzzi / 2 commenti

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, “Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.”

The blind man replies, “If you would’ve put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we’d be riding the bus … so shut up.”

Trad_imento: Continua a leggere →

Funny Friday/20

/ malanguzzi / 2 commenti

A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks.

Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.

The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”

The General Manager is setting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped and hit me!”

The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!”

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Funny Friday/19

/ malanguzzi / 2 commenti

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, “I don’t think you should take one Dad, they’re very strong and very expensive.”

“How much?” asked Grandpa.

“$10.00 a pill,” answered the son.

“I don’t care,” said Grandpa, “I’d still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I’ll put the money under the pillow. ”

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, “I told you each pill was $10, not $110.”

“I know,” said Grandpa. “The hundred is from Grandma!”

°°° Trad_imento:

Un ingegnere in pensione e la moglie vanno a casa del figlio maggiore, a trovare i nipotini.

Prima di ritirarsi per la notte nella stanza degli ospiti, l’ingegnere va a chiedere al figlio dell’aspirina e lo vede spostare una bottiglietta di Viagra.

“Funzionano?”

“Beh, sì, ma sono molto forti…e costano un sacco!”

“Un sacco, quanto?”

“Dieci euro a pillola!”

“Senti, dammene una, voglio proprio provarla. Domani mattina ti lascio i dieci euro sotto il cuscino, prima di metterci in viaggio.”

La mattina dopo, sotto il cuscino, il figlio trova 110 euro.

Telefona a suo padre: “Ti avevo detto che ogni pillola costava dieci euro, non centodieci!”

“Lo so” gli risponde lui “Il centone è da parte della mamma!”

Funny Friday/17,5

/ malanguzzi / 8 commenti

So a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks “whats in the box”.
The man says “I’ll show ya’ if you get me a beer.”
So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano!
Next the bar tender asks “Hey! thats pretty cool, where did ya’ get that?”
The man says” I’ll tell ya’ if you get me another beer.”
So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says “I got it from a geenie and a lamp”
The bar tender says “If ya’ let me borrow that geenie and that lamp I’ll give ya’ another beer.” The man says “Oh, Okay!”
The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp.
The bar tender rubs the lamp and the geenie pops out! The geenie says “Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?” The bar tender says “I wish for a million bucks!” And all of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room.
“What the heck is this! I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!”
And the man says “Well did you think I wished for a 12 inched pianist!”